So as of today I think my ex-fiancee have read some of my blog or all of it I'm unsure. Well idk how I feel about that surely, but hopefully whatever she reads she understands. Today I'm here typing this in a almost relaxed mode watching some Walking Dead, and thinking how I can enjoy my day to the fullest until it's time to work tonight for five days again. Well at least we can start the show now and start down the wonderful path of The Life and Times of Peeta(SF).
Yesterday me and shemell talked for almost the whole day through text and I really enjoyed just having a back and forth with someone. It just wasted time and it was just nice to have a normal conversation with her. I remember when we use to do that all the time, but I'm a man that understands the real world so I definitely understand that those days are in short and probably rare all-together. Also I wondered why she was so happy yesterday, but after finding out that she possibly read my blog then I can understand why she would believe she needs to be. My blog ain't exactly the prettiest place, but it is a place for me to type and get some of my emotional baggage unloaded.
As of this week I am 1 month Vegan and wow I never knew I could go a whole month without eating any animal bi-products lol. It's refreshing to know I can do this :). During the creation of this post I finally finished TWD (The Walking Dead) for now until it starts back up in February.
I have a doctors appointment next week and hopefully I hear nothing but good news. Truthfully speaking the only thing that I'm assured of is probably my high blood pressure, but everything else is all fair game. People say we must suffer in order to get what we want in this world. I personally don't believe so; at all. I don't think my father put us here to suffer in order for us to be happy. We just found ways to make ourselves and each other suffer by imposing rules and whims to be selfish for our purposes. Example is I want to travel, but in order to do that I need money. Traveling is probably the only thing that I can pick from the top of my head that I truly love to do. Now I'm hindered from doing that because I need money, which forces me to work, which leaves me no room really to enjoy the money I just worked for. So I travel around the city I live in and try to enjoy the days I do find for myself.
Another thing is this world ain't as fun without someone to enjoy it with. Now I'm not saying you can't enjoy yourself because I do know how to enjoy time by myself and I do enjoy time by myself. What I'm saying is that time with someone else is priceless because now you can have this feeling and memory and know there's someone else out there that understands and feel the same you do about it. Am I gonna visit Venice, Itlay one day? Of course I am. Would I like to do that with a friend or significant other? Hell yea I would :D. They would just add meaning and memory to the trip and especially if it's with someone you love.
Now dealing with shemell I enjoy spending time with her. I really do because I can remember why I fell in love with her in the first place. That's kinda why I don't spend to much time with her even though I ache to be at her side. Do you know how hard it is to watch someone you love from afar basically? Unable to express your true feelings, and have to keep it inside at all times when your with them? It causes a certain level of suffering to oneself when you love that person and miss them, but can't truly enjoy there presence as you want/wish you could. Now I do enjoy the time I spend with her when she talks, play games, hang, eat, etc. But at the end of the day I come home, she go home/go to her love, and I'm left dealing with the uncontrolled feelings. Its a 50/50 situation I guess and if I want her presence I'll have to deal with the pain it comes with.
Right now I'm working at the USPS again and so far it's not bad, but it certainly ain't good. Truthfully the main reason I'm slaving; because that's basically what the job entails, is to pay bills, buy food, and save up towards my goal/dream. I just want to see how long I can stay here until the MTA job possibly kicks in and then I can go from there.
So for the first time on TLATOP(SF) I will tell you my dreams. My dream is to travel the world, experience different cultures, and people with someone that I love and possibly gonna be with for the rest of my life. Now don't get me wrong I have no problems settling somewhere, and starting a family, but that don't mean we still can't travel and experience the world GOD created for us? Go Tokyo, Hong Kong, Venice, Paris, London, Moscow? There's so many places why should we be limited to one country?
Well that's all for now; until next time. My name is Peeta SF Mellark and I'm signing out ^_\\\ :P.........
~ "Sometimes the sun breaks through the dense clouds" ~ (SF)
