Sooooo it have officially been a year since Katniss/Shemell left me, and what a year it has been. I'll say the truth for the first few months I was a wreck. Like I was so surprised of how much I attached myself to that person wreck, but I have learned from all that and now I'm who I am. Surprisingly I'm not a dick after all of this. I'm not even a dick to my one night stands when they hit me back up lol, but time to start.
Well it seems like I will eventually be working at the USPS again. Hopefully it's better this time aka better pay, better hours, better people :P just kidding.
Hershey manilla vanilla the thriller is still my friend although I really don't have girl friends; she sticks. Hmmmm maybe it's because I don't mind her company at all and wouldn't mind being with her.
Shemell the woman of my forgotten dreams still talk to me which is surprising. I will say I don't hate her, still have love for her, but it's surprising that she maintains contact with her ex-fiancee when she's been in a 1 year relationship with another man. I wouldn't be surprised if we had children together or something, but we don't, we barely see each other, and the fact that I still have feelings for her seems like it's better if she just forgot I exist. Now don't get me wrong spending time with her is cool and all, but it's like teasing yourself with candy you can't eat. I want it when it's here, but can only watch through a window.
Surprisingly the same thing can be said for Hershey, but like I said due to this year of still living and moving I learned how to deal with not being able to get what I want and just deal with life. That's why even when they hit me up I'm cool and answer and not be a dick because it doesn't really matter. I'll enjoy life and continue on without caring.
Sadly I'm afraid I haven't felt true emotions in a long time. I laugh, I enjoy, I smile, but true raw emotion that I felt so long ago is a forgotten memory once again. It seems things will just be this way until something drastic change. On a bright note I'm slowly allowing myself to be free, buying little things, changing myself, etc. Soon I will start buying clothes again when I start working. Slowly change my wardrobe.
Well that's been an update into my life, also a way for me to vent and let go without people judging me, etc.
My name is Peeta SF Mellark and I'm signing out :P V_\\\......
P.S.- I'm attracted to females, but able to tell if a male is attractive. Does that make me bi hmmmmmm?
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