Almost on another...

Well the end of the year is near and my lone wolf type personality is coming out full frontal assault. I'm slowly but surely beginning to detest being around certain individuals at work, and there mere presence alone makes me ehh. Well at least it's coming to the end wondering now if they gonna keep me on for 6 months or not by Friday I should have that answer. Well now on with the show.

Last time I talked about how my ex Katniss was suppose to be giving me some stuff well I got the stuff. First was my christmas gift which was a L (from deathnote) book bag. Next was the two engagement rings; yup not one, but both engagement rings are now back in my possession so that means what it means I guess. She still have the original/promise ring, but I don't know what she's doing with that.

Next up is Hershey and as of today there is nothing between me and her but probably friendship and seeing as I don't really do girl friends (nothing personal) we will hang and chill whenever we do.

Last but not least is Lily and so far we're technically in a relationship, but I seriously don't know how that is going to continue based on what's going on with me right now. Seeing as I am being separate from the world/ lone wolf, but I don't half commit to something so we'll see where this goes.

Other than that I'm really hoping to be kept on this job for multiple reason including moving out which is like priority numero uno. Next is if I do get in a serious enough relationship I want to be able to provide for me and that person to a certain extent. Last but not least at the moment I can seriously use the money.

As I continue to search out and talk to my Father above he leads me down this road so I continue following and praying for the guidance and answers that I need. As for me I have gotten accustomed to the job now and it's not draining me like it used to. I'm looking forward to the answers from GOD for the questions I asked. Until next time Peeta singing out :P V_\\\.

"I love you; even after what we been through."

It's been how long.....

It's been almost two weeks since I started my second job, and it's definitely something different. In the last couple of days I started moving on from Katniss, told hershey how I felt, and talked some more to lily. My life is like woosh lol. So as you can see I am feeling a little better, and I thank the Lord for all he has done for me. Now that being said time to split up the parts, and talk about them individually.

My recent situation or times with Katniss has really changed. My feelings for her have not, but I started moving around different aspects of things so I don't hurt as much as I did. She seems to be enjoying her life with her friends and BF so I of course wish her nothing but happiness. Recently as in like today/yesterday she hit me up to tell me she about to cut me off. Now I didn't go okay that's your decision; I said after all I went through to try and keep you in my life after one thing your through? Well that's up to you but you know how I feel, and if it's that easy to leave me then do you. Tomorrow im suppose to be getting somethings from her not sure what, but I'll let you know what went down.

As for hershey today was the first day since I told her how I felt that we talked. It wasn't anything serious just normal conversation from one end to the other. Dealing with hershey I have no problem continuing the way we are because we were never deep in a relationship with one another; so if things don't work out it's okay. Me and hershey have good conversations so we'll see where things end up for us.

Lily well she's well lily. I really don't know where things is gonna go between us, but atm I doubt it's anything serious. We really don't talk a lot and our conversations are limited, but I do like her personality so we'll see how things goes.

Other than that I'm still working hoping to get kept on so I can move out of my place. Trying to get a place of my own and keep moving forward in my life. GOD has a plan for me, and I have been diligently following it believing that where he wants me to go is for my good and his glory. This year is gonna be a great year for me even after all I've been through GOD has brought me out, and has taken care of his child. Well that's all I can think of for now, playing a little game before I go to bed. Until next time Peeta signing out :P V_\\\.

I continue on no matter what the odds!

Better or Worse?

It's been a week now since I started working at my second job, and boy that job is something else. I am drained, tired, and kinda don't want to go back but this is where GOD opened up for me and I will do it until directed otherwise. My coworkers are now having an inter feud so we seem to be separating at the seems. Ehh it's only so much you can take of another attitude before you just don't mesh no more. Only 2 more weeks before we all/most of us go our separate so it isn't so bad is it?

On another note I almost completely moved on from my ex-Katniss. I realized something though, I love her. Not that normal infatuation love where after something like this it disappear. I generally love her with the love of GOD,and love her as a potential wife and I think that's where we went different ways.

Now don't think because I admit to loving her I will be pining after her, or etc I was just bringing something to attention. My love for my ex is on a different level, and it's not something that can be explained other than in the way I said it. So on that note yes I do still love my ex, but I have moved on because I have things I need to take care of, and she already decided she don't want to be apart of my life in that way.

So now that brings us to my current people I like which is a short list, but idk how things would work out between me and them seeing as I have a genuine love for my ex. We will call girl one hershey lol, and girl two lily :P. So I have like(feelings) for both of them, but I doubt it will go anywhere not because of me, but because they both have there things that piles up against me. I'll just continue on with faith that GOD will lead me as he wants in my life atm.

Last but not least is my current living situation. I have no problem with where I'm living, but something within my soul is telling me it's about that time to move on. I took this to the father of course because if I am leaving then I will need this job to keep me on so I can make the required money to move out on my own. This will be a first in my life having my own place, and at the young ripe age of 21 to lol. I hope this works out because I don't mind living on my own it will definitely be an experience.

Well that's all I can think of I'm sure during the week there will be some random things that happen I will update on. Until then this is Peeta signing out :P.

Song of the Day.

D.R.A.I.N.E.D.

That about sums up how I feel right now. A strong wind would tip me over, and I wouldn't care to much. Trying to get my life on track is harder than I thought. I have support coming from multiple directions though which is always good on its own. Right now my head is pounding, and I want nothing more than to lay down next to my ahem scratch that a female that I can share my life with. Which brings us to our next juncture.

For all those that have been paying attention, or do pay attention last time on TLATOP aka The Life and Time of Peeta(SF) I moved on from my ex. Katniss. So I'm just here to say that it happened, and so far so good. My willingness to work for us wasn't reciprocated and I have realized a lot of young females are like that. They don't seem to be ready to settle or willing to commit to a relationship. I'm not saying you have to be engaged, but if someone is with you and there committed to this relationship that should at least be reciprocated.

We have a long life ahead of us there is more than enough time to live that life God forbid something happens. So if someone comes your way and loves you and you love them why give that up just for the temporary feeling of freedom you want? When you can work with them, and always be free if you'll work together the way you should. Anyways that's just me on the semantics of life I have witness through everyday living.

I'll let you know I want a woman that can love me for me, and that I can love back. I'm willing to work for something I truly believe in, and I feel that if I'm giving a hundred percent as my other you should as well. I respect Katniss for not leading me on, but that don't change what happen and how our relationship degenerated now because of that. Life is about decisions that we make and based on those decisions we have to deal with the consequences. I believe that one day I will have another chance to meet the right woman or maybe down the road Katniss might even come back, but until then I have to keep on moving forward with my life.

My best friend Jonathan I wish him the best in his current relationship which seems to have started out on a good foot. I also wish the best to my friend Jayson who's going through a situation similar to mine. Other than that keep your head up and keep moving forward. Peeta signing out :P.

Can Someone Call the Doctor I think things just Changed?

So hey, hey, hey guys and gals or maybe no one reads :'(. Anyway I just got home from work or works should I say? Something along those lines and I feel free for the first time in months. I don't feel that pain in the heart I always had, and I don't feel the same way for Katniss that I have felt over the past few months.

Through the help of God and the people he put into my life (Jonathan because he wanted a shoutout, co-workers, family, and friends) I have come to a place of better understanding, and I am able to move forward unlike how I wasn't before.

Yes I do feel the occasional pangs of heartache, and I do miss what we had, but we are at a place now based on a decision made by her where we can no longer be what we could of been. Truth be told I am a very selective person in who I give my heart to, and the fact that I tried and it ended up in this way makes me feel some sort of way, but it is a live and learn type of world so as long as I continue to live; I will continue to learn.

I believe that one day things will work out for me again, and at that time I will have another shot at loving someone and maybe, I stress maybe this time I won't be giving my heart to someone who is not ready or can't appreciate the love I am willing/giving them. Ladies if you do read this I do not judge a group of people by one person and I'm sure there is many of you out there who found someone to love/looking for someone to love, and I wish you the best :).

Today is the first day of a new beginning with me, and I hope you'll come along for the ride. I'm going to let you know ahead of time I am human and I do feel emotions so don't mind if I post something in the future about Katniss, but please be assured I am sure in this feeling as I am in other things in my life and I shall endeavor to move on from here. This is Peeta signing out :P

Is it True When.....

Is it true love when your heart aches whenever you think about them? Is it true love when after a day of work all you want is to curl up into there arms and sleep the night away? Is it true love when even after they left you, beaten you down, and you think there is no hope but you still want the best for them and miss them? I don't know if it's true love or not but that's how I feel and I believe that is true love.

Somewhere along the line I got caught up into something and ended up loving someone who became the girl of my dreams. It wasn't no fairy tale love at first sight this was hard work, determination, and willingness to love someone and trust someone other than myself. I gave my heart built a foundation, worked hard to make sure we could communicate and it still didn't work out.

Is it my fault that I loved someone so unconditionally? Maybe but I don't believe it is wrong to love someone with all your heart but if they break it then there's only so much you can do about it. My life is so hectic and sporadic right now with my new job and they lack of time/free time for myself but, through all of that I still would of liked to have her in it. Now I'm just moving on up without her for the time being and if something change I'll be the first to know.

I believe someday if me and her don't work out someone, somewhere will pick up the pieces she left and put them back together. I hope if I do give my heart out again it just don't end in the same way.

I'm on a long winding road and I thank my friends, family(mother and brother), and GOD for being there for me. Until next time though Peeta signing out :P.

Work? What you talking about?

So I'm on my way to work after going to my ex-fiancee house for a little and I feel a bit overwhelmed. I'm doing good in many aspects of my life but in this case I'm still hurting.

I will not say oh this is a cruel world and nothing will get better because I generally believe it will. I believe in GOD and that he will move in ways I never knew existed.

The heart is a very fragile thing but I know that someone will eventually pick up my pieces and put them back together. Until then I'm striving my hardest to create a life for myself. Two jobs and no free time, I wonder how long I'll last? Until then Peeta signing out :P.

Ugh the 9 - 3 life of Peeta(SF)

Just got home from my first and not last back to back job day. I worked from 9:40 am Friday to 2:30 am Saturday -__-. My life is dead, I just want to lay down and cuddle with a significant other right now but I'll settle for eating some food and relaxing. What a day today and I got some answers on how to deal with my situation and so far so good. I hope I have more to share with you next time because right now I'm dead beat so Peeta signing out :P.

Just One of Those Days.

I'm on my way to work this morning and its pouring cats and dogs. I have this foreboding feeling that today is gonna be one of those days where your just not happy. I hope I'm wrong for my sake and everyone that I deal with today.

I didn't get to talk to hershey yesterday but I did talk to katniss. I wonder if things will get better between us eventually? One way to find out and that's to keep moving forward. Until then Peeta signing out :P

A Night to Remember?

The day is done and I talked to my ex aka Katniss and things went semi uphill/downhill. I'm wondering if things can change or would ever change between us seeing as we have gone down separate roads. Is it okay to love someone and want to be with that person when they left you high and dry? Do you think it's time to move on to the other lol for lack of a better saying "fish in the sea"? I don't know what to do sometimes but I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually. Until then Peeta signing out :P.

Jobs, Jobs, and more Jobs

Just got back home after leaving my house 5 in the morning from this medical. So long, so so so so long. Now it's time to relax enjoy some food and drink a nice drink. Gonna take a nap and watch some of this movie and see how the rest of the day/night goes. Peeta signing out :P.

1, 2, 3 Hours of Sleep and I'm Back

Today I got a medical exam for a possible new job I will have. I'm up at 5 a.m. after going to bed at 1:30 - 2 a.m. Oh well no rest for the weary they say and early bird gets the worm I guess. Hope things go well. Peeta signing out :P.

First Day of Many?

Today I laid down a series of questions of choices and decisions. I wonder where it will lead?